empath, not necessarily empathetic

like to clear up a simple technicality. an empath does not necessarily mean that one is naturally empathetic as well.
an empath is merely someone who's able to feel a lot, to be able to completely understand what someone else is feeling in a particular situation.

i don't boast to know for sure that i am an empath. i just like the term, the word, the wiccan image.
and for sure, i FEEL way too much. but it was something i asked for.

long, long time ago, back when i was a kid, i used to think that i wouldn't want to end up like the adults - whom i saw as being too cynical and too sensible, too rational and too logical. i wanted to FEEL. i wanted to base my decisions on what i FEEL for. i wanted to follow my heart. to lose the unnecessary 'better' options so that i can experience the wonderful world filled with the array of colourful emotions. i'll take them all! i said. i wanted to always be able to feel the pain so that i can feel ultimate joy too.

well, at least i knew i was a smart kid.

so i asked God, though not knowing who He actually is then, to always let me FEEL. i have never stopped since.

as for empathy... well, i seem to have adopted selective-empathy these days. it's not that difficult to imagine why, when i am also able to feel the self-pity and pride that reside in the other.

i'm not proud of myself. it's just the way it is.

i was at work yesterday and wondering where my compassion has gone to when God sneaked a little voice into my head. He said, "What you did to the least of your brothers, you did it to me." Shucks.

i guess collecting a ticket to heaven with my name engraved on it isn't such a certainty anymore. i had better buck up on my level of empathy. after all, do not expect me to give up on revelling in complete bliss, joy and the high moments in life. not anyimte soon. not when i can get a taste of heaven from them.

so bring on whatever emotions may rack my being. i'll take them one by one, chew them up bit by bit and spit them out! i'm holding on to my "birthright" to being an empath. whatever it takes.