The Heart is the Tougher Choice, the More Difficult Path

thank you Sunflowz for your contribution on the tagbox.

i can't agree more with what you said. that life's about choosing the road that is wrong.

somehow 'wrong' always means following your heart.

and maybe in some way, that's why it comes across to our mind as 'wrong'. because Reason says otherwise and all our good senses and rationale say otherwise but still, we choose to follow our heart, based on instinct or gut, most of all, on feelings. on HEART.

it's the road less travelled by most, the one that appears to yield no fruit, according to the standards of the world.

i take pride in living my life so far, following mostly my heart whenever a crucial decision has to be made. these paths usually cost much pain. they are the paths all good sense and logic warn me against but which i simply must take just so i won't look back and wonder why i was a coward, just so i won't regret.

my life is guarded with a few simple rules. live passionately. believe recklessly and faithfully (they are one and the same). choose the path i will regret less.

and so far, through the decisions i have made in my life, i can safely say, i have never had any one single regret. many years ago, a friend who is almost 20 years my senior, said to me, if anyone ever says they have no regrets in life, they must not have lived long or deep enough. i thought he made sense.

but today, i think twice. it's not that i haven't made bad decisions by following my heart. in fact, most of them really cause a lot of grief. but it's ok. there are no regrets though there are wishes that things could've turned out better. no regrets simply because i followed my heart.

i thought i was following my mind this time and that's why i feel so twisted inside.

but for the last month, i cannot figure out which is the heart path and which, the mind path. most days, it feels like the current path i'm on is the heart choice and the new path, the mind's choice.

but having said that, the new path is actually the tougher path to take. i think. and that confuses me. if it's more difficult, the more i should take it, isn't it?

so which is it?

either this is the first time i'm acting based on reason and betraying my heart or this is one time the heart path is confused with many masks.

or maybe my heart has changed. is it that my heart is no longer pure and true?

well, no matter, because whichever path i take, i still believe i'll be guarded well... that's what my heart says to me. and i still believe in it.

so i guess for now, i still have to walk a little further ahead and trust that whatever unfolds before me is the correct path for me at this point in my life...