Terror @ Pulau Ubin - IV (August's version)

We had dinner at a seafood restaurant by the sea. I was so badly shaken. On the way out, I had been bitten and possibly even swallowed a small insect. All this would've made me fall off the bike normally but I was so crazed that I didn't care about any of it.

I was shaking and close to tears even as we sat down. And finally, I told August how scared I was back in there. He asked me to describe exactly what I felt, and I said, I don't know except I felt like we weren't alone at all.

In my mind, I could see the paths with the trees on either side stretching on forever and ever. Even now, they are still so vivid in my mind. I keep trying to cling to some form of logic, some explanation to make sense of it all. But I can't grasp any of that. So I keep questioning if it was my irrational fear and over-active imagination that placed me in that state.

+++++

About 8pm. We left Pulau Ubin after dinner.
On the ferry to Singapore.

August turned to me and said, "It's ok. You held it in pretty well. If you had lost it, it would've been quite tricky for me."

I apologised for perhaps, having spoilt the fun. He kept wanting to say something but holding back and I thought he was simply comforting me. But he kept repeating it until he eventually said, "I counted at least four places we went to where there was something there."

FUCK.

+++++

According to August, at the very first drink stall we passed, there was already something there that followed us for a while. That was why he slowed down to keep pace with me side by side. He said when he encountered that at the first drink stall, he was already thinking, we are screwed.

"Why didn't we turn back???" I asked to an incredulous look he threw me. We can't, he explained, because it wouldn't make a difference. We just had to keep going liaoz.


The Clearing

His take was that that place wasn't real at all. He asked didn't I notice the whole scene look funny? The sea didn't look right, everything looked hazy? I didn't notice because I was dead set on staring at the ground in front of me though he was peering at the sea the whole time.

He said the dogs didn't look real cos they didn't move AT ALL. Like they were pasted on the scene. I insisted the dogs did.

He said, the birds looked like insects.

YES THEY DID.

He said on the way out, by the time I had asked, "didn't we come up a really steep slope?" he already knew we were fucked but didn't want to say anything.

He apparently didn't even see the road on the right hand side on the way out (the true path), the one I had seen as a really small lane, at all. He only saw the one on the left, heading uphill, where the map was.

Upon entering the Clearing, he felt we were in trouble and he said the 'thing' at the Clearing followed us for a while too. When we were smoking, he started to feel like it was just getting too close and it was time to go.


Trying to find our way out, he said he knew the maps were fucked so there was no use looking at it already. We just weren't seeing the right things anymore.

He said we had passed a few maps along the way and every time he would turn to glance and the spots marked were always at the same place. It was only until we got off to check the maps did they change to show us at a different place from the rest he had glanced at as we passed.

NOW, I did not see any other maps. I insisted on checking the map whenever I saw one. I saw no other maps.

He said if I had lost it, it would've made it harder for us to find the way out. All he felt was we just had to look harder to find the right way.

The cement floor near the cemetery was another place that felt ominous to him.

+++++

At Changi Bus Terminal, while waiting for Bus 2.

We were smoking by the side of the bus stop. A bus pulled in in front of us. A Malay couple sat at the last row. The guy was gesturing to me and pointing at August. I said, "Is that your friend?"

"Who?"

The bus moved off so he couldn't see them.

"I don't know, some Malay guy with his girlfriend."

August gave me a scared look.

"What?!" I asked.

"The only Malay guy I know rides a bike. Why would he take the bus?"

"How would I know?" I asked but as the bus made a U-turn, I was suddenly seized with a thought, what if I don't see the couple at the back row???

But I did.

Later, when I asked him about that look, he said, "I was scared that we haven't actually left the island at all."

This statement of his really broke my mind.