of vaginas, old offices and blue caps...

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES

... isn't all about a woman's sexual freedom. if anything, i felt that would be a very singular and extremely misleading take from it. for those who only see the 'sex' in the Vagina Monologues, you're missing out on a great deal.

the play celebrates womanhood through rites of passages like menstruation, childbirth, sexual experiences, how the woman's body acts and reacts, women's choices... my favourite segment is "My Short Skirt" that is not an invitation, but a defiance of things we are told we should be afraid of. our vaginas aren't to be ashamed of, or to be kept away in some unspeakable, unmentionable corner, like what a lot of Asian women are taught.

anyways. i enjoyed very much the NAFA rendition of the play written by Eve Ensler, though it also glaringly lacks the local perspective.


NEXUS-SCOOP

so after the show, August and i were walking down Bencooleen Street, past the building where Nexus-Scoop used to be, my very first real job where i made some really good friends, where we used to slog late every night and early into the morning, where coffee had no effects on my body anymore, where i picked up smoking, where XJ and Echo and Vick and Caro and i were buddies, where we banged doors and shouted and then cried in frustration and exhaustion. where we frequented Walaz twice a week and girls' parties once a month and then show up for work equally zombified. where we all wore men's shirts one time with collars pulled up, to mock this girl's perpetual uniform to work, where Blue Caps used to wait 3 hours for me to get off work, where i spent day-into-night after day-into-night chain smoking in the stairway after we broke up.


BLUE CAPS

earlier yesterday August and i had also passed Albert Court Hotel on our way to NAFA and he remembered i had mentioned i had stayed there before. Blue Caps' birthday one year where i made him this booklet of Arsenal's incredible journey that season. i think he liked it a lot. and that kind of made up for the many hours he waited for me to get off work that day/night. and then i told August how much i loved Merchant Court Hotel more, with its little balcony with one small table and two chairs for you to smoke and drink on, overlooking Clarke Quay with all its dazzling lights and buzzing life, and the dark, brooding Singapore River running right beneath you.

so when we passed my old office, i was sort of reminded with little nostalgia but just quite amusedly, of that period of my life several years ago. looking back, it seems i was so young though i didn't feel i was that young then. i was nothing more than a young lady, a little girl, who just stepped out into the 'working world', earning enough cash for the first time in my life to enjoy the little luxuries of life, in love with my boyfriend and who was essentially living the life everyone else is living but finding it rewarding and just Absolutely Great all the same.

and then, Blue Caps passed right in front of me, some short distance away. he was wearing a denim blue jacket and blue jeans, holding on to this petite girl, his girlfriend, i hope! they were walking a little hurriedly towards the traffic light to cross to where my old office building was.

"hey! that's my ex!" i told August. he was more excited than i was and asked if i wanted to say hi.

strangely, i didn't. well, a part of me wanted to call out to Blue Caps and just say hello. more than anything, i wanted to see that look of discomfort of surprise on his face. *giggle*

but i didn't.

cos i supposed it doesn't matter whether we say hi or not. our paths have crossed many times in our lives before and last night was merely another one in the flesh. and though our paths have crossed so many times, there have been very few times when we are on the same page or travelling the same journey. so maybe it's nice to leave it this way.

if you're reading this, then may our paths continue to cross and we'll stop to say hello at those times when it feels right. but for now, i hope that's your girlfriend you were hurrying by with!