this is MY blog

it has been such a long time since i got on this blog.
mostly because i usually blog during the lull periods at work since i get on my second shift of work when i'm home. usually.

else i'm just watching TV. =)

although i haven't been blogging, i have been writing so much lately that i seem to be unable to stop.

but now i'm back. seems as if blogger just updated some of its functions, not that i see any difference here.

and this is still MY blog.

mine. my pride and joy.

here, i can write what i want and i WILL write what i want.
to those who don't like that, or who disapprove of what i write, please, just back off. you are not obliged to read.
to those who like what i write, i thank you for your words of encouragement and i like to thank you also for not trying to influence me. so far, i am deeply pleased that i still write heartfelt words, not anything to suit anyone.

i'm being neither arrogant nor proud.

but when i started this blog, it was meant to be my personal space, where i can ventilate if i need to. above all, this is meant to be my private space where i am able to let out my innermost feelings, reflections, thoughts, fears and dreams. it's an online journal. MY online journal.

when you share something that intimate, and it gets thrown back into your face with careless remarks, accusations and criticisms, it actually hurts. it's like sharing your journal with a trusted friend and having that person turn around, snarl at you and tell you to your face that what you write is bullshit and thoughtless. so what if it is? it's MY journal.

i didn't give this address out to many people, as you guys know. simply because you are my trusted friends. you are here because i have invited you to share a piece of me. you remain here because you are my friend and you wish to continue sharing in that piece. if you choose to leave, i don't hold you back but if you choose to stay, i hope there is mutual respect and love between you and i.

i have enjoyed being here for the last year. for that, i thank you for not trying to limit me with boundaries, or locking me up in a confined space, but allowing me to write what i will.

i suppose i sound angry here. i don't think i am. perhaps i'm still carrying remnants of some betrayal i felt. justified or not, i don't know. i suppose there'll always be two sides to a story. but it still hurts from time to time though generally, i think God has been excellent in the subtle ways He's healed me. but while i'm feeling like this, this deeply affected, i just want to let it out.

here.

my space.