OBSESSION

he has effectively moved into one of the rooms in my mind. i think about him a lot. every second? i don't know, but practically every waking minute. i would have loved for him to be on my mind as i dream but i have yet to dream of him. what i would do with him in Dreamland, i don't know.

perhaps i'll unravel a little bit more of the mystery that still surrounds him. peel off some layers that he hides beneath. and learn about his seeming self-assurance that really hardly fools me.

sometimes, i indulge in thoughts of him. and i catch myself smiling at any inanimate object in front of me. of course, i try to hide it as i really wouldn't want my colleagues to find out that i am actually insane.

sometimes, i don't want to think about him. but his name gets mentioned or a song comes on that tugs at my heart strings, the same strings that will trigger off an image or two of him and i'm back to smiling at inanimate objects.

i wish i knew what is it about him that arrests me such. but i don't know. or maybe if i know, then i wouldn't feel this vulnerable. not being real makes thoughts of him delicious ... something for me to savour and delight in at my own time and will.

lately though, it's turning real. i've inadvertently trodden into dangerous territory. obessions are acceptable if they remain far away. play with my mind and fantasies, i don't care.

come near me, touch me, play with my heart and be gone! i will invoke you the next time i need you to get me through a rough patch.

there is no permanent room for you in my heart. those have been occupied and it will do you well to not ever reserve a place in it anyway.

so for now, be at rest and remain a dream.