Friday, February 29, 2008

Identity-Part II

* note: Spoilers included *

Because I never actually got to understand the story fully for what it was, it had always been a matter of deep curiosity and futile obsession.

But finally, I put it to rest when August and I watched it that night at my house. And it was completely worth the chills.

There are these 10 characters who happen to find themselves in the same motel on one very dark and very stormy night. Accidents happen and roads get flooded that prevent them from leaving.

Now the strange things start.

One by one, the characters start dying. At first, it appears that there's a serial killer on the loose (and there happens to be a convicted murderer stuck in that motel too) but then the murders start getting weird. On each victim is found a motel key with the first victim getting the key to Room "10" and counting down.

Whether the deaths are murders or accidents, each victim carries the next number as the deaths are being counted down.

At the same time, a sub-story is unfolding in a meeting among psychiatrists, lawyers, a judge and a convicted serial killer who's murdered 4 people some years ago.

His mum was a prostitute after his dad left and used to make him wait in dingy motels while she does the deeds. He was a kid then. One night, his mum was murdered and there was no one to rescue him from the motel until he was found by cops who took him under custody.

The psychiatrist says he developed multiple personalities from then.

Back at the motel, the remaining survivors decide to see if they have anything in common between them, like in the movie "Ten Little Indians" (if I remember correctly, it's from an Agatha Christie's novel but I may very well be wrong!) where 10 people were stuck on an island, started dying mysteriously and realised they have some connection between them.

So they find out they are all born on the same date.

Then John Cusack goes through all their identity cards and realise their names all include a name of a state.

It's so messed up and surreal it completely tears your idea of what you know apart. Something is wrong. This isn't just a serial killer story.

Then the bodies start disappearing. All those who have died, disappeared.

+++++

As it turns out, the 10 characters at the motel are all different personalities of the convicted serial killer, the one in the sub-plot.

The psychiatrist had staged a story for these 10 multiple personalities to meet where they will kill one another off in that story - the one unfolding at the motel.

The crux of the matter is, John Cusack, the good guy personality, has to ensure the serial killer personality is killed and not be left as the dominant character, in which case, the convicted serial killer in real life (but what's real anyway?) will be lost for good.

+++++

"Identity" is well-filmed. The continuous downpour adds a feeling of overwhelming heaviness and helplessless to the characters involved. Everything seems staged at the motel. You simply can't escape. Even when you have, you find yourself back at the motel.

It's like dreaming a dark nightmare and being fully conscious it's a nightmare but you are completely helpless because you just can't awake. In those times, even though you know you are dreaming, the fear is real and the desperation, intense. You are caught up in what's happening in that nightmare and you cannot fight it, but only to go along to see what happens next. You can be the next to die, or escape, until the unknowing darkness/evil catches up to you. You can keep running... but you just can't awake.

And what if the reality you wake up to isn't that bright either?

Identity-Part I

"I was going up the stairs one day
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish I wish he'll go away..."

These few lines had made me go cold when I first watched John Cusack speak them a year or so ago, in "Identity". Because I had only caught bits of it, I wasn't sure if it was a thriller or a horror show but it was frightening enough in that it rips your sense of reality apart.

So there I was, gripping tightly onto a cushion and peering at the screen from behind it, when suddenly I felt this intense wave of giddiness. I was literally swaying. So i grabbed another cushion, and because I was glued to the set, I refused to take my eyes off the screen, trying to fight that wave of giddiness. I thought it'll pass but it didn't.

And I remember I placed the second cushion behind my head to lean on and thinking, "Shit. I feel horrible." and wondering why.

I was still horribly afraid of what was happening on TV though I hardly understand it because I hadn't watched it from the start. Just know that something bad is happening and something dark is unfolding.

AND THEN I heard sizzling noises to my left, near the altar, kitchen and door. I went cold literally and didn't know what to do. THEN the lights started flickering.

*FREAK OUT!!!*

I took a breath and turned to confront the source of disturbance. And I saw something (I forget what) that was hanging from my ceiling/wall moving.

In that moment, and thank God for that, it occurred to me these must be from the tremors of an earthquake. I say thank God it occurred to me in that moment cos I was going into shock from the movie and its accompanying effects in my home.

That was the first time I experienced tremors. Scary. Cannot even imagine how it must feel like where the quakes are.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Howie Day's "Collide"

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you

I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I
Collide

I’m quiet, you know
You make a first impression
But I’ve found I’m scared to know I’m always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometime
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I
Collide

Don’t stop here
I lost my place
I’m close behind

Well even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide
Finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide

+++++

Am sitting here doing my work, resisting the urge to make another cup of coffee when suddenly, "Collide" comes on Class 95.

straightaway, just like that, maybe like The Jumper (i don't know, i haven't seen it... yet), i'm sucked into a scene unfolding at Pump Room, with this young couple sitting opposite each other, holding hands and grinning away. i snap into the girl, our joints and limbs lock, heart and soul fused, and i become her.

August and i had been at Wine Bos (the wine buffet place) that is quite a good strategy cos you really don't drink that much wine anyway, in 2 hours. i had been telling him about "Collide" for a while and we're both not sure if it's the song he heard and knew about.

anyway, i decided i wanted to go dancing at Pump Room. didn't think it would be crowded on a week night and true enough, it wasn't. the place was almost empty, so much so that we got a nice table near the dance floor. i was raving about Pump Room so was hoping it would at least look more happening than that!

well, we continued talking and talking and talking and then the band comes on and i'm waiting in anticipation, ready to leap out of my chair to dance. there we were, sitting across each other, looking into each other's eyes as cliche as it sounds, holding hands... and then the band launched into their first song... "Collide".

i melted. it was so beautiful. i love "Collide". i love "Collide"... i had one of those stabs-you-in-the-chest kind of feeling and i must have struggled to breathe it down. it was a fun night to follow, i remember. much dancing and laughing.

"finally find... you and i... collide..."

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Lent 2008

it's Lent again.

this year, instead of giving up something, i've decided to try and be a better person instead.

whenever i try to give up something, it really doesn't bring me closer to God cos i end up depending on my own strength than to remember to draw strength from God.

i don't even know where to begin to start tuning in more to God though.

maybe i'll write again. just wanted to leave a record here that it's Lent again...