Boys to Men - II

let's see how i can explain this.

during those days of taking the same bus home as Mr Animal Rights, there arrived another boy. i called him Blue Cap then. because he wore a blue cap every morning on the bus ride to school.

so this was how it worked. i took this bus with Blue Cap to school at 6 in the morning and the same bus home with Mr Animal Rights in the afternoon. both of them were in the same school. Blue Cap and i are of the same age while Mr Animal Rights is one year older. so there was one year when Mr Animal Rights went to junior college and i only had Blue Cap for company.

he was so adorable. he slept in the bus every morning. i watched him for 2 years. yes, Stalker Me. that side of me has just been suppressed, not eradicated. be careful.

i usually never get a seat. but he does because he gets on much earlier than me. but there was one time this person sitting next to him got off the bus and i was standing right there. he looked up at me with sleep in his eyes, moved to allow me to sit and i was paralysed.

"SIT DOWN!!!!!" i screamed in my head but i didn't dare to. opportunity doesn't hang around for long, especially not in over-crowded buses in wee hours of the morning. someone else shuffled over and sat in my precious seat.

so yup, i watched him for two years. sometimes, i got irritated with this other boy who noticed me watching Blue Cap. of course, that turns out to be his younger brother, as i learnt much later.

Blue Cap was a really sweet boy. when everyone was fighting to get off the bus, he would gallantly step aside to let someone else get off before him. we exchanged eye contact several times and i never forget those eyes.

time passed. i got to know him. but he had a girlfriend.

we graduated from school. he went to a different junior college. for me, i had a choice of going to either. life is full of tough choices! haha. i chose to go where Mr Animal Rights was. and so, i gradually lost touch with Blue Cap, also cos i lost interest in him.

here's where things get slightly more complicated.

[RECAP - i am in the same junior college as Mr Animal Rights and Blue Cap is practically non-existent in my life at this point. Enters a third person, let's call him... potato, for now]

potato and i shared a few classes. he wore half-damaged trainers and carried a simple backpack. he was simple, humble and always had this somewhat awkward look. nice smile, unnerving way of looking at people. the word "enigmatic" comes to mind.

i had such a huge crush on him! we studied in the library for our 'A's and we watched each other sometimes. i think i used to glare at him to prove to myself that i wasn't afraid of him. he thought i hated him.

prom night. one hotel, two junior colleges. both potato and Blue Cap were there. GOSH. Blue Cap came in a smart, white suit. potato wore a blue shirt with black pants. i bade my farewells silently in my heart. my final glance at the hall when we left prom was at potato sitting by himself.

couldn't stop thinking about him, especially when we ran into each other at Zouk quite regularly in those days.

finally bared my heart to my friends. those were the days of IRC. my friend, without telling me, went on the public line for our junior college students and announced for potato to show himself.

he did.

though he had only just went on the IRC line for the first time.

we started chatting. we became friends. we acknowledged each other's presence. we talked. we went out.

eventually, we got together.

i don't recall another period of my life when i was both floatingly light and happy, but where every breath brought an ache to my heart because i couldn't believe how happy i was.

i loved every moment of my life then. i was in love. really in love. he was so strong and surreal.

then he left for studies. and he left me.

doesn't end here though. things get a little bit more complicated and i'm starting to see a recurring pattern in my life!!!