a prayer for healing

when i saw Mr C's "not good news" on SMS, i was mildly alarmed.
but it was when i heard his voice over the phone, shaken and voice cracking, that the cold fear that is fast feeling a tad too familiar, crept in swiftly. it wrapped its icy tendons around my heart and in those few seconds, i was just praying it wasn't one of us. perhaps i was too selfish.

so Shirley and SM's elder boy is in critical care in Mt Alvernia. had gone for a camp at St. John's Island (was it?) and downed 48 bottles of mineral water but ate only 2 meals, over 2 days. came back, was unwell, sent to the doctor and now he's suspected to have been attacked by a virus.

it never ceases to amaze me how our comfort zone and everything that we know so well can be turned upside down in one second.

+++++

Dear Lord,

i ask that you be with ML and help him to cope with his fear and pain. reassure him of your presence, Lord, and give him the strength to battle this virus. heal the child, Lord, that he may recover soon and walk out of the hospital with his family.
i pray also that SM and his family can feel your presence through this ordeal. keep them brave and calm, and help them to turn to you in their fears. be with them in this time of need and help them to remember that you're always there with them...

i ask this through Christ, our Lord, Amen.

+++++

PMS

i had a bout of insanity and a few moments of heartbreak.

reining them in, i'm retying the ribbon on my little glass heart to hold the "memories-best-not-remembered" tightly in. someday, possibly when i'm 70, i'll untie that ribbon and who's to say i won't suffer from dementia and not have to revisit those memories?

IN SPITE OF all that, i do love the memories and i still want to retain them.

i want to thank God for the pain cos i know i have truly loved.
i also want to thank Him for it being so difficult at times, cos i know it's cos i have been truly loved too.
how can there be regrets if you have lived one life and found even just one person who really loves you?

i am PMS-ing.

:( :)

may God bless and keep ex-loves safe and happy through the days of their life, be it with me or someone else.

when we're all 70, we shall throw a reunion and get together and "hook up" *ahahhaaa* and we'll thank God all over again!

*cannot decide what emotion range i'm in right now so i should stop rambling*

The Perfect Love

i don't want to be the perfect girl for you. what happens when i'm not?

i'm afraid when you tell me i'm the only one who said the right thing to you today because what happens on the days i say the wrong things?

i'm sad when you approve of something i wear because i worry about the days when i dress either too shabbily or too formally; too casually or too inappropriately - there can be just too many 'too's.

i don't like to be the only one who does the correct thing nor do i want to be the perfect person for you. cos what happens when i slip, as i will, cos we cannot agree on the same thing all the time... will you leave as you have left?

i want to be the 'in spite of' girl.

in spite of my nastiness, you see the good in me.
in spite of my carelessness, you see the heart within.
in spite of me cracking up at the wrong times or giving the weirdest response or just reacting in an unlikely way, you still love me.

i do strive to do the things that will make you happy. i do strive to be the person who is right for you. but i don't want to be the perfect one, cos perfection fails. i just want to be the ordinary girl that i am, with all my flaws and frailties, and insecurities and cynicism, that in spite of, you still love.

in the same way that, in spite of you leaving me time and again, i still love.