a colourful entry

my friend, Jooj, had quite a start to her day this morning.

she was walking down the overhead bridge near her house as a man in his 30s or 40s was walking up.

the bugger unzipped his pants and pulled out his, yes, THAT! what a cow!!!

she was shaken but said if she had not been so surprised she would have told him off. yes, it is unfortunate that a lot of these assholes get away with their misdemeanour simply because the surprised party lacks the chance to recover from their shock to wreck the same havoc back.

my first reaction when Jooj told me was to yank and twist that thing until you hear the chicken-shit whimper and cry out. but you know what, WE DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT!!! *screams*

assholes.

while we are on the topic of assholes, i met this guy on Sunday night and it was by far, the worst date i have ever gone on. THE ABSOLUTE WORST. i think i have met my share of jerks but this takes the cake. i will refer to him as the Fucker (forgive the language but that's how i feel about him).

firstly, he asks if i have a degree and then how much i earn. what the fuck!? next he checks about my "commitments" and goes right ahead, without being asked to, to calculate how i should manage my finances.

*simmers*

among some other irritating things he said:

- "the education system in Singapore favours women" and then proceeds to share his wise words that this is why a lot of men don't do as well. maybe it's just you???
- "do all your friends have degrees too?" like fuck i will introduce you to them.
- "we should put the pineapple rice here in the middle." because you can't eat it if it's at the side?!
- "women are independent only if they have degrees," while i'm trying to explain that i am more independent these days compared to my younger days in the sense that i don't collapse if there's no man around. "if you don't have a degree, you won't be independent too." FUCK YOU MONSTER!!!!
- "no, i know writers earn a lot." he insists for like, three times, after i told him that it's not true. ARE YOU A WRITER?!!

i tell myself that maybe this is all a misunderstanding and i may have misread his intentions.

this sentiment isn't able to last long, as hard as i try to tell myself that.

he keeps pressing me on what attracts me to the guys i liked, which i honestly don't know because the guys i like are generally quite different from one another. eventually, i give it to him.

i say, "i like people who are genuine and sincere and honest. it's very easy to tell when people are being real or not," and then i look him in the eyes that i will so love to stab with my fork, "if you try to smoke me, i will know."

guess what? he actually turns red. and not just red, but DEEP RED.
that seals my conviction that this worm sitting before me is a mere insignificant shithead i don't have to be nice to.

then he asks about my past relationships. you know, sometimes, i think i am too irritable with people who are really nice... and so i try to catch myself before i hurt someone. this is one of those times i do... and definitely one of those times i shouldn't bother to!

he sits there calculating when i met potato, and when i met blue cap, which year i was with potato and which with blue cap, how long i spent with one, which month of which year i was with the other.

WTF!?!

he keeps saying everything is subjective. but what he means is that things are subjective to what he thinks.

for example, apparently, i don't know why my relationships fail because its "subjective". i say, yes, relationships fail because of many reasons but my relationships are subjective to me and my boyfriends only. not anyone else. he thinks he understands my relationships better than i do.

he also attempts to insult my ex-boyfriends. i say attempt because i don't let him get far with this. if you guys don't know, i am HIGHLY PROTECTIVE of the men i've loved.

simply because i think i've been very blessed to have met and loved two good guys in my life. a relationship not working out doesn't put any of them on my 'hate' list. they are essentially the ones who have shared the most intimate parts of my life, the people whom i've loved and who's loved me.

THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH DISSING THEM. i don't even let my mother speak badly of them, WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
and if the Fucker thinks just because these guys are ex-es and past and over and i must hence, feel some sort of animosity towards them, well, fucking think again, you fucking piece of SHIT.

and THEN, he goes on to fish if i ever slept with any of them.

THAT'S IT. this is IT.

and even then, i try to be nice! why!? because i had told him i am a Catholic. i wonder if this makes me hypocritical because if i hadn't told him that, i probably will give it to him. though i know it'll make me feel so bad later, which is what holds me back a lot these days too.
but the point is, if i had been nasty, and it happens that i'm the one and only Catholic he knows, he's going to be shooting his mouth off with his words of wisdom so readily and easily to others about how Catholics are really terrible people because he once met this girl who's a Catholic and she's just plain rude and if that's what being a Catholic is, then he's never going to be one. urgh.

dinner finally ends and i'm able to make my escape.

"shall we go for a walk?"

walk my ass.

"sure." i say and i walk towards the cab stand.

along the way, he tries again to find out if i ever slept with my boyfriends! GOSH!!!!! *SCREAMS!!!*

*mental picture of kicking him in the balls into the river and shouting as he drowns, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"*

i turn to him and icily - i've lost it - "what do you want to know? if there's something you want to ask, ASK IT. WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ANYWAY?"

fucking coward. look, my take is, if you have the cheek to want to know that badly about my virginity, then you fucking well work up the guts to ask the question directly, you balless freak.

he laughs that lecherous, nervous laugh.

"oh no lah, i'm just sharing." -_-
share your fucking life with the murky river.

cab comes, he continues yakking, couple comes out, i get in and, i even offer to drop him off since he stays in bishan but he is caught unawares and says, oh, er, no need, i'll call you...

WHATEVER.

i go off.

he sms-es me later to apologise if his questions made me feel uncomfortable and, get this, "you are a sensitive and emotional lady".

like i told Snow White, i'll be the first to admit i'm an emotional person, AS WHAT THIS BLOG IS ALL ABOUT!!! and i'll also be the first to admit i'm a sensitive girl.

but in this case, NO WAY. fucking asshole. i hope you drown or contract STD or something and your dick rots away.

go fuck yourself while you still can.

*breathes*

i am glad i got that out. i think this is the most colourful entry on my blog. :P i apologise really but it'll take a lot of effort for me to tone down my language while writing about the Fucker.

but i suppose good can come out of anything. at least now i have a ready answer when i'm asked to "Describe the worst date of your life."

why, oh why, are some men such complete assholes?