Holy Spirit, Ablaze!

Mr C is on fire.

and i am on fire.

there are so many things to do for RCIA!!! so many activities lined up that we cannot announce publicly yet... so we are now cracking our heads to think of how to soft-sell these activities and how to encourage more participation.

in the midst of the flurry for fundraising, people panicking cos nothing is moving ahead, he suddenly comes up with this email to basically say, Halt! let us not get caught up in fundraising.

he says as long as we plan properly for the greater goals, without thinking of the rewards, the money will come. God will provide.

what i personally have learnt is that all we have to do is to work HARD. really HARD. and the money will come. God will provide.

his email set me on fire all over again. well, the fire has never really died within me though sometimes it's just a small flame going. especially the times when he's down cos then i feel lost and i'm floating around since nothing can proceed without his okay.

no he's not THAT important. he's not indispensable either. but he's OPEN and THIS is why God's work gets done. not through false smiles and pretences of friendship, but through sheer hard work, commitment and being open to be used as God's instrument.

thinking of that accusation of self-glorification still makes my blood boil.

in any case, he's been struggling so hard this last year but at the times when he's ON TRACK, gosh, it feels like old times when we are invincible and nothing can stop us forging ahead. i really miss that.

so, thinking of how many unnecessary setbacks he's had to face this year still makes me feel so, so sad. people don't understand how deep we have to dig for strength sometimes. they don't understand the fire that we need to propel us forward fearlessly and how their wet blanket can make so much difference.

i don't know. why do people resent having to set their ideas back because of what he says? haven't they worked enough with him to know that he always has good reasons? aren't they aware that his choices don't reflect his SELF but the journey's needs?

actually, they do, except for one. the rest of us have discussions and healthy arguments and in the end, we always step back and obey him for what he says. especially since he always gives good reasons. and he understands the heartbeat of the journey. that's something i have yet to grasp. and i still marvel at how he does it.

well, right now, though he just got slapped with another boulder, he suddenly rises above himself and he is ON. we have to maximise our flame before the next obstacle arrives.

his email makes me so proud of him. what i've learnt and experienced with him so far is that even if he seems to be wandering off course, he's really just taking time to ponder and to find the right course. in the end, he always comes through still on the right track.

THIS is why i still believe in him.

Thank you, Lord!!!