At the Edge of the New 2007

the Apostle had SMS-ed me the eve of NYE at 5am asking if i was awake. well, i wasn't. because i had a fever and i had just been crying. where was he at 3am when i needed to talk to someone? perhaps it was a good thing he wasn't around as i would not have known what i was gibbering about.

NYE came and went. we spent it at Collie's house, laughing at our pathetic celebrations but not really caring otherwise cos we had fun too. Snow White and i left early cos both of us were ill.

so then, i find myself, sitting at my void deck, having one last smoke before i head up.

should i SMS the Apostle? i am so tempted to wish him Happy New Year. but i refrain. it's the New Year. i don't want to be pursuing him into the New Year. so i place that thought on hold.

should i SMS my ex-es? i wonder. ok, the thing about me, is i think i place too much importance on the men in my life. but maybe i'm just feeling a little lonely.

i'm going to SMS all three! i decide. potato, Blue Caps and the Apostle. and i'll see who replies me, i laugh.

i finish my smoke, pick up my mobile and SMS a brief Happy New Year and some well wishes to potato only. and i head upstairs.

i am lying in bed not being able to fall asleep when my mobile rings its *knock knock knock* SMS-alert tone at 2.30am. i'm not even thinking who it is as SMS-es have been invading my phone the whole night.

i open the message.

"So you asleep this time?" it's the Apostle!

i say a brief but exceptionally grateful 'Thank You' to God for not letting me SMS him earlier so i can enjoy this surprise that much more.

so we talk and we poke each other and we debate and share and poke each other some more. he teases me and i am embarrassed though i don't think he realises because i match his wit one on one. i don't relent and he has to back down in the end, but somehow that just makes him appear more gallant! he makes assumptions about me and i try to read his mind. he laughs a lot and i try not to let him know i'm grinning like an idiot the whole time.

"wanna watch sunrise?" he asks at 5.30am. DUH, YES!

we decide it's too late to catch sunrise and so we decide on breakfast instead. then we settle on lunch and a movie.

i say goodnight to him and he says good morning to me. he smiles and i continue to grin. for those few hours, i see an 'us' for the first time. as much as i feel for him, and in spite of more intimate and deeper information we've shared and chatted about, i've never seen an 'us' before. but for these three hours, i do.

and he goes back to his own world while i return to mine. i can almost smell him as i close my eyes on this first morning of the new year.

so much for my New Year's resolution: the official one was "To make an effort to sleep early", yes, i can definitely see how 5.30am is considered early... and my unofficial one "To not pursue the Apostle into the New Year".

in record breaking time, i watch as both resolutions go 'poof!'. but boy, is it worth it.

H E L L O O O O O O O 2 0 0 7 !!!!!!!!