KC vs the Apostle

KC and i went out today to ECP. we cycled for 4 hours.

well, in between, we stopped for a coconut and mineral water (he enjoyed the coconut while i looked on wistfully cos i'm not supposed to take that since i'm coughing my ovaries into shock)... then we cycled from ECP all the way to Changi Beach. and only then did we stop for a plate of nasi lemak.

next, we cycled to Changi Hospital, and of course, i just wanted to take a look at it. scary man, and it was bright daylight. i didn't want to go in. i'm ok to be one of the few Singaporeans who don't wish to explore that hospital. where these things are concerned, i don't take chances. you guys know that. :)

then we cycled back from Changi Hospital all the way to ECP. can die. my butt hurts now... and my legs are aching too. i took my drowsy cough medicine cos i left the non-drowsy one in the office :( and i'm afraid i won't be able to wake up for BOW tomorrow!

i don't know why my blog entries nowadays sounds like Blue Caps. dammit.

KC rides a bike. as in, a motorbike.

IT WAS SO THRILLINGLY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first time i ever rode a bike, i was about maybe 3? Godpa used to ride one and being so little, i used to sit in front of him. i'm sure he never went fast though it felt fast then. and after two decades, i finally enjoyed a bike ride. KC was so thoughtful. he went slow initially cos he knew i was nervous. and only after he kept checking in with me did he accelerate more but still, it was slower than his usual speed, according to him.

i had a lovely day today. he was just sweet, attentive and nice. he is awfully quiet, and i suppose that's a result of his family background... whatever it is, i came home feeling happy. he seemed to keep wanting to hang out because i think he's not used to going home early on saturday! haha. but i was really just tired from all the coughing and worried about not being able to wake up for BOW tomorrow. you see, i can't even enjoy a date without thinking about church! *screams*

anyway, i got off his bike and i was beaming. i think. it felt really, really good.

i like KC very much, i don't know in what way. i suspect it might just be as friends. maybe i'm a little interested in him. maybe i do want to get closer. but i'm perfectly alright too if nothing happens. cos i enjoy this - having someone to spend the day with, with no strings attached. this is all i'm after.

now, here's the part i hate myself for.

after the whole day and night... i'm sitting here, happy with a day spent with KC and a dominant thought in my head is, firstly, a retort to the Apostle - "i don't need you!... put up with your shitty timing, constant disappearances..." and then next, "But KC is just not the Apostle..."

man! what the hell is wrong with me! and do i have it bad for the Apostle. *gosh*

*beams*

*I LOVE YOU!!!!!!* no i don't. i know i don't. i know it's not love. and still, it's all i want to scream out when he comes to mind.

dammit.